


Who Knew UNO Could End in Fire

by chrisoftheworld8



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint is sassy, Infinity War doesn’t exist, It’s great, Loki is friends with Peter, M/M, Multi, Ooooo Cap’s angryyyyy, Tony Stark has a party
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-13 22:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14757578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrisoftheworld8/pseuds/chrisoftheworld8
Summary: Tony Stark is throwing a party, because science is better than magic. And that somehow totally makes sense and applies in this situation.Basically I saw the thing where it said that we’ve all decided that Infinity War didn’t happen and we can just pretend everyone is happily living in Stark Tower. Well maybe this isn’t “happily” and “living” but it’s close enough.





	1. Tony Stark definitely does not want to have a party

Tony Stark was stressed. Although that is not what was unusual. He lived in a constant state of stress. Stress was his middle name. Tony Stress Stark. He was a pot of water living at a constant state of 99 degrees Celsius and any tiny incident could push him to his boiling point of stress-induced explosion. Because thats how water works. He was stressed, but its not like he was going to tell anyone else that. Especially because this was his own fault.

Tony sighed and thought back to his conversation with the infuriating wizard who had the gall to call himself a doctor. Strange was taunting him while in the midst of a standard alien attack on the city, and stated that they should do this more often.

Stark replied, “We can set up a playdate if you'd like”

“Sorry my mom says I cant have anyone over this weekend.”

“Well I have a tower with my name on it. Literally. Also my parents are dead.”

“You’re home alone? Then you should throw a party.” Distracted by their bickering, Strange got knocked back by one of the weird, physics denying grey aliens that seemed intent on making a mess. Grunting from the impact, he summoned a shield-like circle of light and used it to push the creature towards Stark, who blasted it with the repulsor on his left hand. “Best not to invite him,” Strange finished.

“Oh, but what’s a party without people?” Tony flew a couple feet into the air before sending another of the creatures flying with a well-aimed, suit-enhanced kick.  
“There’s got to be some of your other strange friends who’d love a chance to not destroy New York, for once.”

“Like you have any right to call them strange, Strange,” Tony remarked watching the man create (or perhaps create the illusion of) multiple more arms, which he used to take out three more aggressive, yet ineffective attackers. “And as for the destroying New York thing, I can’t make any promises.”

As if on cue, a very large version of the awkward grey aliens smashed into the side of a building, who had lost his balance due to Stark ripping his leg off. As the creature pushed itself up again, Stark and Strange noticed its leg regrowing and forming a reflective layer that extended across its full form.  
“Well that’s new.” Tony stated, but Stephen just frowned. Stark tried to take out its leg with his repulsors again, but this time the shot rebounded and hit him in the chest with enough force to knock him back and down into an abandoned car. Strange tried to hack at the creature with a new formed sword of his usual yellow magic, but it did not seem to have any effect. Nor did the alien even seem to notice as it kept stomping its way towards where Tony was picking himself up and struggling to regain his position in the air.

“Sir,” JARVIS spoke up, “There is significant damage to thrusters; it is not advisable that you attempt flight.”

“Okay, put me on with Cap,” Stark sighed and said with reluctance, “It looks like we’re gonna need some backup.”

“I am afraid that the comm system has suffered damage as well, I cannot get through to anyone else.”

“Shit.” Tony flipped back his helmet to shout over to Strange who attempting to distract the monster. “Strange! My suit’s been damaged. I’m officially flightless and silent!”

“Sure doesn't sound that way,” Strange muttered. “This thing seems to be able to grow at ease and is intent on getting to you. But I can distract him with sparks. The thought process seems to be along the lines of, ‘Ooo shiny’” Strange ducked to prevent the grey monstrosity from grabbing at the Eye of Agamotto.

“Try to keep him distracted, I’ll-“ Tony was cut off by a flash of blue lightning and a certain Norse god as he came crashing into the alien. Thor, wielding Stormbreaker, struck the creature causing not only it but any unfortunate buildings located directly around them to crumble.  
“Okay, He should definitely come to the party.” Strange remarked.

Now Tony Stark has locked himself in his workshop, in an attempt to plan a party. Of course he wasn't going to actually go through with it, that is until Strange had to open his big mouth and mention in in front of Thor. And now Thor was far too excited for Tony to tell him no, and Stark’s pride way to big to not rise to Strange’s unspoken challenge. If he gave in to anything, ever in front of the wizard, he tried to make it about how his magic was superior to Tony’s science. Okay, maybe it was Tony who always brought up the science, but thats besides the point. He has a party to plan.

Pepper knocked on the glass wall to his workshop. She has the code to get in on her own but she still always knocked and Tony appreciated that. He waved her in.

“How’s the engineering going?”

“I’m not engineering.” He replied not looking up from the hologram he was fiddling with.

“What are you so focused on then? Don’t tell me you're trying to figure out how to win at UNO again because we both know that that’s not going to end well.” She leaned over to see what he was working on, but Tony flicked away the screen and continued his work on a nearby tablet, angling it so she couldn't see.

“UNO doesn't even get to be considered a game. There is absolutely no strategy and it is entirely luck based.”

“You’re just upset that Clint keeps beating you.” 

“Like I said, it’s random chance-“

“You had thirty-two cards at the end.”

“I have bad luck.”

“Or, you're just bad at UNO?”

“I’m not researching UNO.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” she said, the sarcasm evident in her voice. “What are you doing then?”

“I’m, I’m planning a party.” He muttered turning away from her laughing response.

“The day I see you planning your own party will be the day the world ends.”

“Better check the news then.”

“Are you seriously planning a party?” He put down the tablet to indignantly cross his arms, looking up at her for the first time. He noticed she was dressed up more than usual.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” Pepper replied crossing her arms to match his.

“Oooo, who's the lucky gal?” He said nudging her in the side.

“No. No way am I letting you get involved with my personal life. The last time I ended up dumping you, remember?”

“Aww, come on,” he said pouting, “I can’t even know her name?”

“I am not going to let you ruin this for me.” Her expression softened and he saw a slight smile of hers forming. “I’m hoping this goes well.”

Tony walked over to her and took her hands in his. “Me too Pepper. You deserve it.”

“Do not try to distract me from that fact that you are, apparently, planning a party.”

Tony sighed, dropping her hands and his evasive tactics. “Well its not going to be much of a party. I’m trying to prove a point, not actually have a good time.”

“Ooooo who’s the lucky guy?”

Tony chuckled. “Why don’t we both just go about our evenings, hmm?” He picked up the tablet and began tapping again, and Pepper pretended to be oblivious to the slightly more frantic pace at which he set back out on.

“Goodnight Tony.” 

“Mhmm”

As Pepper left the workshop, Tony was struck by a brilliant idea for his event, and set off eagerly to pursue it. Of course with only the intention of proving a point. Or maybe he actually just wanted to have a party. But its not like he was going to tell anyone else that.


	2. Tony Stark should be having fun

After much (too much) consideration, Tony decided to imitate an awkward teenagers house party, without parental consent, with loud music, with mediocre snacks, and with whatever liquor that was locked away somewhere. Of course the latter of the four would be in better supply as this was, in fact, Tony Stark. Going along with the pretense, he informed all invited guests to dress up in a much younger fashion. Stark himself wore some tighter than necessary jeans, and a band t-shirt.

It was not until his guests arrived in various states of said fashion that he considered the potential consequences of having this particular group of people all in one place under the current circumstances. He’d gotten all of the “official” Avengers to attend with Clint and Natasha excited by the idea, and Steve and Bruce a tad wary. Thor, of course, was enthusiastic. Although perhaps a but too enthusiastic as he had elected to bring Loki along proclaiming that “He is good now, I promise. He hasn't even betrayed me since last Tuesday.” Tony wasn't even going to bother with that one, and he just hoped to not be thrown out of a window again. However judging by how Loki had been nervously glancing at Banner since he’d arrived, Stark doubted he’d have an issue. As long as he could keep Barton away from him.

Peter Parker heard about the party, and theres no way Tony could possibly tell him no so, Spiderman showed up. Immediately, Steve took a liking to him, but much to everyone’s surprise, so did Loki. Peter didn't seem to mind and those two spent too much time smirking together than could be considered safe for the health of all others in attendance. Tony didn't care what they did, as long as no one got stabbed.

All of the Guardians of the Galaxy were invited, however they all mysteriously declined. It was noticed, however, that this was only after Quill had discovered Thor would be there. The Wakandans were all in Wakanda, Vison and Wanda were “busy”, and no one had heard from Bucky since he left to take some time for himself. Or so said SHIELD. As for SHIELD, once they heard news of a party, it was required that Phil Coulson attend, in order to keep an eye on everyone. Although considering Loki would be there, perhaps an eye needed to be kept on Coulson. Of course Clint would handle that, just not in a way that could be considered useful to anyone but himself.

Soon enough Tony Stark’s house party was in full swing, when finally Stephen Strange arrived.

“I apologize for my tardiness. The Council of Raxon required my attendance. Wong sends his apologies as well. Unfortunately he is unable to come because he did not want to.” Strange was smirking as it was evident he intended to be “fashionably late” in order to stay in character, and in character he was. Despite apparently coming from a meeting on intergalactic magics, Strange was dressed for the occasion. He had on ripped black skinny jeans and a loose white t-shirt. He had even traded in his boots for some stereotypical hightop black converse. While he should, in every right, look ridiculous, Stark noticed that he pulled this look off quite well. Why it was that Stark noticed this he could not tell you.

“It’s a good thing you showed up; this is your fault after all.”

“I’ll accept that blame.” Strange said as he looked around and allowed a small, sincere smile to creep onto his lips and into his eyes. Tony took a second to look around at the chaotic peace that had settled around the room.

Thor was drinking and loudly joking with Steve, at a table that also held Peter and Loki, though not their attentions. Some conniving and plotting was going on there, but it seemed to be good-natured. For the most part. Pepper and Bruce were seated on a couch looking on to the room at large and seemed to be chatting. Thankfully, they were a deal quieter than what passed for conversation volume with Thor. Near a speaker blaring some pop/rock song Clint was dancing like an idiot and trying to get Nat and Phil to join him. Natasha was persuaded under the guise of playing her part, and Coulson wore that nearly unnoticeable smile that meant he soon would give in too.

The whole place gave off an atmosphere unusual to this particular group. It was carefree, and everyone was happy. It was happy and infectious to the point that Tony hadn't noticed that he’d been caught by Strange staring with a dopey smile on his face at the closest thing he had to friends.

“Quite a party you’ve put on Stark, real high-class.” 

“Only the best for this bunch of misfits.”

“Misfits is a surprisingly accurate description for you all.”

“Oh, you are so included in that, Strange.” Strange let out a chuckle that Tony had not yet heard from him, seeing as their only interaction up until now had been in life-threatening situations. It was nice.

“I don’t doubt it.” And as he said it, Stark knew that he should feel fine. Everyone was safe, nothing bad was happening, no alien invasions. He had every right to feel comfortable and at-ease in his own home surrounded by everyone he cared to be surrounded by. And yet, he just couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Strange seemed to sense it too as he kept glancing at the window covering most of the far wall. With nothing to do about his very slightly shaken nerves and no real reason for them, Tony decided on a distraction.

“I have an idea,” he announced to the room. “ It is the best idea actually, because it is I who has had it. Let’s play UNO!”

So, Its not really Stark’s fault. How was he supposed to know that UNO could end in fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t think I’ll be very good at keeping consistent chapter lengths, because I’ve already written another chapter and it’s slightly longer than this one. I’m very close to being done setting things up and so stuff will officially happen in the next chapter. I’m just too tired to type it up because I write everything on paper first. I’ll proabably do it tomorrow. Again, I don’t know what I’m doing so any advice would be gladly appreciated! Thanks! 
> 
> -Chris (they/them)


	3. Tony Stark is not allowed to have fun, apparently

Okay, so in his defense, it was only a little bit of fire. Really, people need to stop overreacting about these sorts of things. Besides, it wasn't the fire that most of them were concerned about, it was more the water.

Clint was beating Tony, again, and try as Pepper might, she couldn't stop him from hinting to Thor that Loki and Peter had managed to snatch his cape when he wasn't paying attention and put it on Dummy. Of course Thor, despite being physically held back by Bruce and Natasha, managed to push Loki into Clint, who now had all the excuse he needed to pull out his bow and threaten Loki with bodily harm. Whether he was only half-trying, or Natasha had something to do with it, most of his shots were just nearly missing him. Loki had taken to creating multiples of himself as a diversion tactic, which prompted Strange to begin a discussion of their shared interest in magic, whilst sidestepping Peter’s attempts at snatching san arrow from the air with his webs.

Sick of everyone’s (Strange’s) talk of magic, Tony meddled with the now discarded UNO cards in order to favor himself, and not-so-favor a certain sharpshooting arrow man. This did not go unnoticed by Coulson, who may or may not be a little but inebriated due to Clint, and rationally decided to set the cards alight, catching the cards on fire, and also catching the attention of everyone else. The emergency sprinklers activated, after Coulson asked such of JARVIS, causing a room of dripping wet beings of various power, with various expressions of amusement, with there being one, key exception.

Steve Rogers, for one, was not amused. Specifically, he was angry. More specifically he was angry at Tony Stark who, for one, did not know why Steve Rogers was angry at him. All he really did was move around some cards. Who cares? Apparently Steve did.

“Tell me Stark, why you could possibly think it a good idea to start a fight in present company?”

“Okay, two things: One, I did not start a fight. That blame is probably on Barton. And two, present company? Really?” Tony gestured around to the group who were all accepting towels from Pepper to dry off with. “If there’s one thing the present company could actually handle, it’d be a fight.”

“What if Bruce had, lost his temper?” Steve said carefully, still wary of Banner’s state. Tony looked over to the man in question who was currently dodging Natasha and her towel, as he had decided the furniture took precedence to his own sopping hair. Tony turned back to Steve as Nat seemed to be calling Clint for backup.

“I think Bruce’s fine, Cap.” Barton was apparently having a time escaping from Coulson’s clutches, in order to assist Natasha. When Tony looked back at them they all four were in a heap of people and towels on the floor, that had the addition of Thor, for some reason. All of them were laughing, if you could count that smirk and slight cough from Coulson as laughter.

“No, you know what Stark?” Steve said once again drawing Tony’s attention. “You do not get to shrug this off. You orchestrated this. You knew what you said would upset Thor, and upsetting Thor is in no way a sensible idea. You cannot make these stupid decisions with these people, especially not in an enclosed space with alcohol!”

“It was fine.” Tony replied, annoyed that he was having this discussion instead of distracting Strange from Loki, neither of whom seemed to notice that Strange was still in a loose white t-shirt, except now it was really quite wet. “No one got hurt. No one died. And look! Everyone here is smiling. Everyone except for you and me, and the me is because of the you,” Tony said jabbing a finger at Steve’s chest.”So why don’t you just chill out-“

“I will not ‘chill out’ Tony. The people may be fine, but look around! This room’s a mess, and thats only a step away from disaster for us. I just need you to be more careful. You have a responsibility here.” Steve’s threats of disaster were made in sharp contrast to Natasha’s ringing, bubbly laughter as she tried to untangle Peter from his mess of webbing and towel.

“Look,” Stark said fed up and just wanting to move on enjoy his goddamn party. “I respect your concern, except I don’t. Everything is fine. I’ll let you know when something explodes, so that you have another excuse to lecture me. So, if you need me, I’ll be taunting an unstable Norse god.”

“Do you even hear yourself!” Steve barely raised his voice, but his tone was one that reverberated throughout the room, drawing some concerned attention. “You are careless, and you act upon your every whim.” Steve said in a more controlled tone, but it didn't matter. By now every ear was hanging on every word the two said. These people had been in enough tense situations to know that this was no longer a discussion between Steve and Tony, but Captain America and Ironman, and currently those two were not on the best terms. “Your nonsense has gotten us in trouble before and I will not let it happen again.”

“I dunno Cap,” Tony replied, his voice taking on an icy edge. “I rather enjoyed being beaten to a pulp by my father’s own technology. I figured we might try it again some time.”

“You cannot keep ignoring what I say like it means nothing.”  
“You cannot keep telling me what to do like you have any right to! Y’know I thought inviting you would be a nice way of trying to put all this behind us. Extending an olive branch so- to-speak. I guess I should’ve assumed that Captain bossypants, proud recipient of the least-fun award wouldn't have the personality necessary to enjoy a party.” The two men were face to face now with Stark’s cold, sharp words, and fire burning behind Steve’s eyes.

“Maybe we could have fun, of your idea of fun wasn’t riling everyone up into a state that encourages danger.”

“Well, I’m looking around here and, it seems you’re the only one riled up, Cap.” He spat the word at Rogers as if it were an insult. Maybe it was.

“I had hoped you’d have grown up by now now. After everything we’ve been through and you’re still acting like a child with no self-control.”

I’m the one who can’t grow up? Who’s the one that’s still stuck in the 1940’s, huh? Whose the one that still believes in heroes?”

The words struck the room like a blow. There, still hung in the air like a physical presence, was the difference between the two who spoke them.

“You’re right Tony, I do believe in heroes. Or at least some of them.”

Tony turned and was confronted with the wreckage of his happy atmosphere. Natasha’s eyes were hard, Clint wouldn’t meet Tony’s gaze, Coulson made a point to be unreadable, and he was. Banner had his eyes squeezed closed, and Peter was facing the other way looking out the window. Loki seemed to agree, Thor looked like kicked puppy, and Strange. Strange just looked surprised? No. He looked curious, and somehow that was worse. 

Tony confronted the fact that it was indeed wishful thinking to hope that they all could be happy. Together.

He sighed. “How’s Bucky doing theses day, Cap? Is he enjoying his time off?” And with that Steve Rogers turned around and walked away, without a glance back, his entire being a soldier.

“Uhhh, Mr. Stark? I think we may have an issue...” Peter said turning from his place at the window, his eyes wide.

“That’s a bit of an understatement.” Bruce mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear. Natasha was at his side, as she usually was whenever tensions rose.

“I think the kid might be right,” Barton said, urgency in his voice, having joined Peter at the window. Collectively the group made their way to look out at New York from the side of Stark Tower. Tony was the first to speak.

“Well fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the formatting figured out! I’ll have to go back and fix the other two chapters now. The next chapter is officially when something happens. (This something only counted as an unofficial something) Thanks!
> 
> -Chris (they/them)


End file.
